Thursday, January 31, 2008

A real blogpost: What does poker mean to me and who am I?

Poker is another test of what my potential is. I feel like I have spent my life pushing myself to all the limits I can imagine. Whether it was drugs & gangs as a teenager, being a wandering hippie on gratefull dead or widespread panic tour, or playing in the main event of the world series of poker I have always pushed moments of time.

Longevity, consistency and long-lasting success are my main issues. I tend to find ways to fail. Call it self-destruction, blow-ups or self deprecating behavior. I excel in those moments. I know how to hate myself and make my life as difficult as humanely possible.

Poker tests the self destructive portion of myself more than anything else i have ever experienced. More than drugs or alchohol. I have spewed thousands of dollars away in sitting at 10/20 with a bankroll of 4k. I have registered for 1k sng on stars with a 2k BR and won.

What happens when you place a frustrated drinking man online with 5k at his disposal in front a computer late at night? for me this is my greatest test of wills.

I run good when my momemtum is with me. When it slows down I have reasons to be afraid.

What is consistency and how is it maintained.

I need to build a concrete 25k bankroll to feel comfortable.

I need to play at least 2 events in the world series this year.

I need to pay off all of my families debts so that i don't see that worry and burden on my wifes face.

I Want to be consistently happy.


I am looking for to playing the blogger based HU challenge. I really feel like hu poker is a truly pure form of the game that competes with any classical game like chess.
Bring it on bloggers!

Monday, January 28, 2008

Poker, Poker, Poker

Thanks so much to cmitch cmitch

Thanks so much to VIRGE!!/

These words are for you!

Poker is Confidence.

Poker is Discipline.

Poker is Focus

Poker is Momentum.

Poker is Community!

My greatest challenge each and every moment on felt and beyond exist in that moment of decision.

Do I make the easy decision. Push it in and pray use less brain, don't use skill and knowledge. When skill and knowledge are used in any decision making process and you choose wrong it hurts so much more.

I fear putting all my effort into anything and failing. To lose in that situation hurts me to the core.

There have been a few moments in my life I have exerted maximum effort and made all the right choices and failed. Those moment hurt and haunt me.

Yet, the highs that come from exerting everything and succeeding out weigh the negative. Friday night i put it all aside and played balls out confident and intelligent poker. I folded spot that were tenuous at best and played for first.

There should not be any other place to play for.

I Wanna Play Poker!

Saturday, January 26, 2008


gg rubba